As you are unfortunately aware, there have been some minor snags in our Lebanese Peace Campaign recently, such as the resignation of the government and the persistent refusal of renegade un-Christian militias to deal with our peacekeepers on a humanitarian level. But we refuse to adapt to the unreasonable conditions set by these maladapted militias. We entered the Peace Process to defend the pro-Western government that we have installed there. Now we can’t just march in, set up a government, and march out, can we?
Charges that we are intervening in a civil war are an exaggeration. We have come to the aid of a legitimately constituted government that shows signs of gaining the popular support needed to remain in office for five more minutes. Although some Lebanese army units refuse to fight, Secretary of War Weinburglar assures us that the army is improving overall. Over all of whom is not yet clear.
I believe it’s time to get syrians in the meddle east. There’s no question about which way those Syrioid missiles are aimed. They are aimed up.
Just because Moslems are a majority in Lebanon doesn’t mean they can go shooting their way around, especially with Russo-Syrianista aid. True, the Maronite Christians are traditionally allied with Israel, which has had some minor political involvements with Lebanon in the past and is rumored to be supportive of the Gemayel government. But to compare this with the designs of the sinister Syrioid empire would be to suggest that the United States is out of bounds, which is logically impossible.
The Syrioids have justified their unjustifiable interventionism in the name of regional security, stating that they were “asked in” in 1976. They claim that certain great powers from across the sea have intervened in the region and they must defend their neighbors. This line of argument is unconvenient and to all events illegitimate, since it was stolen from our team. When PrezRon expresses these sediments they have the ring of truth to them; therefore, if someone who presumes to be our enemy uses them, they become false.
The Syrianistas should not try to humiliate the United States by shooting at us. We will humiliate them, and ourselves if necessary. And we are not pulling back our peacekeepers. We are re-organizing them and redeploying them. We will not rule out redeploying them to the United States, but we will not withdraw as long as we have a mission to compete. Whining by democrats that our mission is poorly defined is not substantive whining. As White House Press Spokesman Larry spoke, Those who call for pulling troops out of Lebanon are not unpatriotic, but they would be more patriotic if they would mind their own business.
No, we cannot change horses in the middle of the east. If we were to withdraw the keepers of the American Piece, democrats and socialists would say that 241 Marines died in vain. You see, Prez believes that people shouldn’t say that sort of thing, because the more a thing is said, the more it becomes true. As in the case of many of his statements. For example, it is now more true than ever that there will be no military draft. Unless of course we are attacked. We have not been attacked in Lebanon or at the Honduro-Nicaragoid border. There we have merely been provoked.
Besides, if you turn and run when threatened, it sends a bad signal to your antagonists. It could cost you more than 200 lives—It could cost you an election. If you’ll recall (but not the President), Ron ran for the White House on a platform of standing tall against Shiite Moslems. No more burning of embassies to the ground. No more terrorist bombing attacks. No more kidnappings and disappearances. Not against the United States, no.
So we will continue to stand by our commitment to Israel, which remains our most twisted alloy in the region. Recently the Israelis have shown great flexibility, modifying their long-standing position that there is no such thing as a Palestinian to “There is no such thing as a Lebanon.”