America Is Back

Just how far back will be revealed at a date to be revealed later. We are standing tall, on a wide variety of backs. We are on the move again, moving on countries far and wide, small and smaller.

A far away totalitarianationistic power is attempting. to take Central America away from the local totalitarian powers. This sort of destabilization will not be tolerated. If Central America is lost, we will be forced to take out ads in the lost and found, or even to go to the expense of buy new countries to replace the old ones.

To secure peace in the world, we must secure our piece of the world. It is time to annex foreign affairs. All the world’s a stage, therefore we must act. We do not need to act well, or to think before we act , but we must act before someone else takes our part. We must help the Salvadorans, or else they might help themselves. El Salvador is very important. You might not know it, but San Salvador is closer to Houston than Dallas is to reality.

It is time to annex foreign affairs.

Have you ever wondered why bulls charge when they see red? It’s because they’re bullheaded, and that how we’ve got to be, friends. When we see Red we’ve got to charge the taxpayers. Charge against overwhelming odds, as we did in Grenada. Charge—and whatever the cost, pass it on. And if a small, civilian-military war should escalate into a global , unconventional conflict, remember: first strike means never having to say you’re sorry.

VE Day and Yalta 
May 8 is the 40th anniversary of victory in Europe. Once again we will hear from the Evil Empire (the current one) and its apologists that the Soviet Union played a part in that victory. Well, it is deniable but true that the Soviets did give us some assistance in that skirmish, and did in the course of the action lose some 20 million Soviet lives (roughly equivalent to 7 million American lives, or about $260 million).

But we now know that had it not been for the convenient existence of an external enemy, those millions would have perished in the famine which admittedly did take place. So we can see that these deceased individuals were in fact not an extra sacrifice, unlike our boys. (Because of the free enterprise system, we don’t have famines in America.)

So you can see that the thesis that we and the Soviets have a basis for friendship is a malconstruction. It was America that took care of the Nazi problem, and to this day it remains America that takes care of the Nazis—mostly in Paraguay and Bolivia.

SILVER RIGHTS COMMISSION 
Chairman Clarence Pendleton has explained that advocates of affirmative action are New Racists working for neo-slavery. He also criticized his colleagues for saying that civil rights laws are to protect blacks, Hispanics and women, asking “Where does that leave other Americans?” Mr. Pendleton has clearly touched on a central problem. If white male Americans are not looked after, they will soon be eclipsed by minorities reveling in new-found rights given to them by big govamint. And since white males play an important role in the process of Trickle Down Economics, we mustn’t alienate them.

STATE SALE 
The competitive bidding for the Saturn program—the car—continues, with the fascinating innovation of the governors offering bids on the sale of their own states. This helps to clarify who’s boss, but only until we choose a state to plant the plant in. Then, when the state is sold, free enterprise comes in to free the economy up so that Big gummint can get out of the way of the Private Sector and let the Marketplace work its Magic.

ND SPYING IN POLAND 
Our military attaché in Poland was not taking pictures of sensitive military installations. That what we were accused of by Poland, and therefore we never do that. If we did, we certainly wouldn’t get caught. Shot down maybe. But we will not say whether we will retaliate, although we will threaten to say we will. We will not bomb Poland, though we would not discourage those in the private sector who wish to aid such efforts.

INFANT MORALITY
American infants are relatively innocent, not being quite absolutely innocent as are American fetuses. We are happy to hear, then, that America’s infants are dying in smaller numbers than ever. Regrettably, the percentage of black babies dying continues to rise. However , this cannot be traced to “social” “service” cutbacks. It was possible to trace a rise in infant mortality in the Soviet Union in the 1970’s to the government’s totaliterroristic policies, because there they have a monolithic system that controls every aspect of life.

But we are concerned about this problem, and we will be encouraging the private sector to pitch in and help with the solution, though the creation of enterprise zones in the inner cities. This will give poor families the self-respect that comes with full employment (7% unemployment) , which in turn will teach them the value of feeding their children properly. This is a solution within our democratic tradition, rather than one more nannystate shackle imposed on the people, who yearn to make their own decisions on how best to combat poverty, communism, unemployment, terrorism, health care and communism.