Song Category: Miscellaneous Media

Singing CIA Agent George Shrub on the Meddle East—Part 1


From 1983 to 2008, and occasionally beyond, George Shrub, the world’s only known singing CIA agent, pontificated in song, dance, and fake news on his methods of keeping our world Our World. The Problem of Palestine was a recurrent theme. Here, from the archives, he rises again to the challenge of explaining settler colonialism away.

Geithner Fit the Battle at A.I.G.

Once I built a mortgage, made it run, made it race against time
Once I built a mortgage, now it’s done,
Brother, can you spell sub-prime

Once in sharkskin suits gee we looked swell
Full of that Yankee Doodly…don’t
Half a million fools went into debt hell
I was the guy with the loan
Say don’t you remember they called me Alan
Hank Paul Larry and Tim
Say don’t you remember, I’m your pal
Brother, can you spare a diamond

When citizens default, I triple-lock my vault
But some of my homies are too big to fail
Supersize their bonus, on the poor I’ll put the onus
Anything to keep my broker’s ass out of that jail

Unprecedented failure of our national securities
We must discover who could be to blame
Could be Osama, Obama, or your mama
Heads we win, tails you lose
Main Street’s cool but Wall Street rules
Won’t you purchase our paper? Please do, I insist!
If you don’t like it buddy, hey, default swap this!
Paulson fit the battle at Goldman-Sachs
And Wall Street’s tumblin down

If there’s no remaining capital what happens to our ism
I never thought I’d ever see the day
When government has a role to play
But it’s true we’re all set
We can wash away the debt
And profit if not learn from our collapse
I love shooting craps

Housing bubbles, Don’t you whine
Makes me happy, Like a land mine

Lehman was lynched Merilly in the oh so Stern bear market
Bail out the banks and offer thanks, don’t grouse
The economy’s just lost one half its worth
And you’ve only lost your house
Profit’s all gone
It was the era of the get
Now it’s time for socialism of the debt

As for the paradox of deleveraging
Which leads to alcoholic beveraging
The way to explain it, explain it to you nice is
That the selling of trash drives down prices

We want a clean plan, not just a mean plan
Why penalize the poor
Rich people who have lost more
Than you mortgage moochers ever could have
It’s not like the sky is falling
Though it’s true your roof is gone
All is not lost but as it says in the sonnet
Doggone it, we’re working on it

There’s no shortage of reportage on our mortgage meltdown so
Why not keep the next phase of the bailout on the down low
You’d never miss a million and you cannot spell quazillion
So why not leave it up to those who caused it, those who lost it,
Those who reverse santa claus’d it
Who believe in the American Dream
Especially the part about the Ponzi Scheme

A nation of whiners gets no golden parachute
When we’re through you will be lucky if you’ve got a birthday suit
If we knew in advance what we were doing
it would be called mergers and precognitions
But we didn’t and we don’t so it’s mergers and demolitions
depositions, inquisitions, extraditions

So what if we were all in a hypnotic trance
From which we awoke with the collapse of the tallest towers of finance
Rome wasn’t bilked in a day
I know I drove this country into a train wreck
But I feel a sudden need for a a blank check
Please won’t you buy my………dreck
Have no fear
We won’t let it happen again
This year