by George Stump, Moderate
There's been a lot of people gettin' educated about the environment recently, so I think we're gonna see some cuts in the education budget, along with the ones in the forest. Although, with Mr. Gore and the whole owl-coddling crowd in power, you never know. These people are old-fashioned enviromentalists. I'm beyond that - I like to think of myself as a post-environmentalist. That may not make sense to you, but it makes a whole lot of dollars for me, and I'm sure you'll agree that's a hundred times more important.
As for the pesticides, it's a free country and Agribusiness is a free enterprise, and if they feel like there's too many pests out there then they have the right to spray them, just like when we have too many pests in the cities and spray them with tear gas.
But we don't cut every tree. Some trees are so beautiful and rare that they should be put in a theme park, where people can find them more easily. Why should you have to walk all over creation huntin' for that one rare tree or bird or other theme species of your choice? You know, before modern forestry came on the scene the forest was actually quite a mess, and frankly, there was no place to live in this country. I don't know if you know this, but one of the reasons the Native American empires never got anywhere was that the trees were so tall that they could not see the way to the future. So we helped them out with that, harvestin' the forest so that the trees would no longer dominate the people. And they have thanked us ever since, from their own theme parks.
But let's be honest: If you ever take a walk in the forest you realize that people don't belong there. There's too many little critters bitin your legs and you get these diseases that remind you that people belong in cities. We must make a distinction between people areas and nature areas. But when you do interact with nature, you got to show it who's boss. Like when they had that fire in Oakland, what you had there was not a typical grassland or typical urban fire, you had an area where nature was encroachin' on an urban area. Just like that fire in New Jersey that was encroachin' on a nukular plant. That's nature movin' into an area that's not zoned for it. You got to put them in their place.
In closin', do not be discouraged. It's a big environment, but by workin' together, we can make it human scale.
See also Stump's article The Moderate Environmentalist