This song, a blatant ripoff of “I Hate Wal-Mart” from the earlier days of corporate fascism, doesn’t so much cover the crimes of Bezos – warehouses that run hot and cold, with ambulances waiting outside instead of Him investing one day of his winnings ($350 million) into workers’ rights to survive – and to go to the bathroom! – and his tech work for ICE, plunging us further into the police state – well, it’s just a warm-up pep talk for the proper solution to pirate enterprise gone hog-wild.
Starbucks, almost as much
If I’m not boycotting at least 3 oil companies
I start to feel out of touch
I wouldn’t be seen in an Apple watch or any such
And I hate Amazon
2
I don’t like whips, I don’t like chains
I don’t go choppin up my neighbors’ brains
You can tell we’re in the last days of Babylon
When you can get anything you want at Amazon
3
Hello Long Island City
Bezos got a deal oh so pretty
Done behind closed doors, that’s shitty
DeBlasio, what the fuck!
4
If you didn’t hear the story, here’s how it is
Big company sells below cost
Drive mom and pop out of biz
Now people sit and home and buy
Everything they need from just one guy
And that’s why I hate Amazon
5
I like to roam, I like to greet
Individuals on the street
You always know the one you meet is one of a kind
But more and more it seems to me
A reflection of something on TV
When we’re all alike nobody’s free
I hate Amazon
6
Turn on my radio dial
Like to hear something new once in a while
But it’s the same old crap in a brand new style
So narrow, why do they even call it broadcast?
Still I try to pick and choose
I turn the dial but I always lose
They only play the worst possible rock and roll
Which let’s face it it’s just lite white rhythm and blues
And that’s why
God made podcasts
7
I never read the ads, CEOs ain’t my comrades
They’re a bunch of capitalist cads
They’re full of shite
Everyone I meet is a high-tech dealer
Wants to sell me a digital potato peeler
Kinda makes you pine for Garrison Keeler
But he’s so….
white
8
Bezos makes 350 mill
That’s dollars a day it makes me ill
Too much power, this battle’s uphill
No shit Sherlock
Hope you like this song, thanks a bunch
Sorry some of the rhymes kinda crunch
If you didn’t like it I got a hunch
You own their stock
8.5
They’re bankin’ billions
We make minimum wage
Whole towns closed up, where’s the rage?
Not that I believe in nations per se
But it just might be time
To nationalize Amazon