NICE CAR

I was watchin MTV, drinkin wine and eatin brie
When the word came over the wire
There was a panic downtown, everybody was runnin around
And the courthouse was on fire
Rats runnin under floors, people livin out of doors
And the ghetto cop unhooks his safety catch
Boil and bubble, toil and trouble
But I’m just gonna throw my latch
Cause I’ve got a

Chorus:
Nice car and troubles of my own
And I just ain’t got the time
Somebody else’ll do it, I won’t think about it
Maybe it’ll go away

They’ve got a nuclear reactor on an earthquake fault
And everybody’s makin a scene
And they’re buildin one on top a volcano
But thank God that’s in the Philippines
There’s stuff in the river that’s bad for your liver
And radiation just won’t quit
They’re gonna make the whole world dirty
Ain’t gonna be no place that’s purty
Ain’t gonna be no place left to shit
Chorus

I worry about money, I worry about women
I don’t think it’s funny
I’m sinkin while I’m swimmin
Too many taxes, battle of the sexes
Demonstrations at my door
Some fella got a thousand dollar bed
Some other fella don’t got a loaf of bread
Somebody rich while somebody poor
But I don’t think there’s a real connection
Don’t go takin up no collection
Cause I’m just not absolutely sure
And anyway I got a
Chorus

NO THANKS

I ran into my teacher just the other day
Hadn’t met since high school so we had a lot to say
And the first thing that he asked me
After shakin both my hands
Was “Are you doin something with your life
Or just playin in rock and roll bands?”
I said, “There’s so many things I could do
I don’t know how to begin to tell you
So many choices, I hear voices tell me about a new career
I could make a new one every other year!

I could design a billboard sign for filter cigarettes
Or spend my days think up new ways
Of collecting overdue debts
I could design skyscrapers, fill them up with piles of papers
I could design army tanks
But as they say in the U.S.A.: No thanks!

I could teach psychology as a way to earn a buck
Although I suppose I’d do more good drivin a semi truck
I could teach auto mechanics but it’s such a panic
Since who needs more cars?
We’d be better off with more bars
But not much, so I say, like the Dutch: Nee Bedankt!

I could be an editor or a short-term loan creditor
And learn how to lie all the time
I could become a cop and learn how to stop
Everything people do except crime
I could analyze products that produce disease
And if they’re declared illegal I could ship them overseas
I could make a movie showin just how groovy
Life in California can be
I could purse the dance, but as they say in France: Non, merci!”

Exasperated finally, my friend was turnin blue
“Enough!” he cried, “now tell me what it is that you wanta do!”
I said, “There’s something wrong with your question, don’t you see?
There’s nothin, really nothin that I can do
But maybe, just maybe we…..

We could call a general strike until the country stops
Or bulldoze all the auto plants and plant some other crops
Or blow it up like a big balloon and blow until it pops
Put the President and the Senators inside a big museum
And then pay a dollar fifty if we really wanta see em
Put the Pentagon on the tip of a little silicon chip
And then run it through a computer, or better yet, a roto-rooter
And convert the corporate heroes into big bright beautiful zeroes

Abolish the dollar and the white collar
Tear down every jail, tear down Harvard and Yale
That’s what we can do, and then when we are through
There will be not a trace and we’ll put in its place
What those folks in outer space
Call the human race

THEY’RE SETTING A BAD EXAMPLE

The other night when we were out bowlin
My buddy says to me
Hey man, what you think about Poland?
Such a sorry sight to see
We got to do what we can
Bout the trouble in Afghanistan
We could bomb the Soviets, but better yet
Let’s bomb Grenada

They are nationalizing everything
I knew it would be this way
They say if you want to make a profit
A greater tax you must pay
We need freedom of investment
Just like we’ve got in Formosa
Maybe we could give Grenada
To Merrill Lynch Pierce Fenner and Somoza

Chorus:
Cut off their aid, cut off their trade
If that don’t persuade em, we got to invade em
Or blockade em, or stockade em
Switchblade em or grenade em
They’re setting a bad example

Star wars are more fun than guerrilla wars, of course
You see, we are Americans so we never like to use force
We’re generous to a fault
But these things get out of hand
Imagine, they want to decide for themselves
Which crops to grow on their land!
The people down there don’t seem to care
I was really quite shocked
They drive into town, take a walk around
Leavin their car door unlocked
This is clearly Communism
So let’s bring in the choppers and tanks
We’ll bring back pluralism
A choice between the IMF and the World Bank
Chorus

WE LIKE OUR COFFEE SWEET

There’s a little village in a little country
And the little people are smiling everyday
There’s a little mayor who will throw a little party
So get a little tipsy, enjoy your little stay
There’s a lot of sugar, there’s a lot of cotton
Everybody’s happy, and their teeth are rotten
They used to grow their corn, had all that they coul eat
But that was unAmerican, and we like our coffee sweet

We like our coffee sweet, we like our coke with rum
We stand for liberty
Too bad these natives can’t have some

In the little mountains all the little peasants
Have a little army, they’ve grown a little bold
Though they live in squalor and cannot pay the rent
They’re Soviet-inspired, so says the President

We like our country rich, we want the best for our sons
Profits were stable til this year
Too bad these natives all have guns

Say goodbye to paradise, the parting is so hard
You wish that you could buy it and keep it in your yard
As you board the airplane, wave a fond farewell
When you meet your family, this tale you will tell

I like my coffee sweet and my tobacco strong
I cherish my paradise
But I fear it’s not mine for long

O SAY CAN YOU SEE?

O say can you see the land of the free
Our business is business, olé!
That’s how we’re known, my how we’ve grown
And growing more every day
We’ve borrowed half of Korea and half of Mexico
We didn’t want such a burden
But somebody has to, you know

Your country now is mine
I have a grand design
Give me your dough

Besides we need sugar and cotton
Cheap labor, diamonds and oil
The people down there must learn how to share
The things we find in their soil
The peasants there say they want their share
Of all the wealth they produce
Well I believe in democracy
But that’s getting a little bit loose

The banana republican authoritarians live in Miami, surprise!
They accept charitable contributions for freedom fighter supplies
These are the primary exports from America’s golden shores
O say can you see, Manifest Destiny
Free enterprise guarantees wars

THE CURRENT GROUP OF SCOUNDRELS

These days are so uncertain, Our future seems so vague
It seems we’d all be better off with a good old-fashioned plague
But still I guess that Reagan’s times are better times than Nixon’s
Cause now we’ve got MX and first strike with all the fixins
How we got into the mess I really can’t deduce
But at least we know our leaders are the best we can produce

Our country gets into these ruts
That’s why we need budget cuts
Of controls on corporations let’s be wary
The following is what we need to feed the military
Two thousand dollars each from every one throughout the nation
While social programs shrivel but I’m sure there’s no relation
Prices will be going up while bombs are coming down
Benefits will trickle down
I hope to God the poor don’t drown

The coin that is the bloodiest
Must surely be the Krugerrand
And we’ve been seeing lots of them
Here in Casper Weinbergerland
Casper worked for Ronnie back in California
I was there back then and he’s no dummy, lemme warn ya
He’s healthily suspicious of Russians on our flanks
So he’s taking all the food stamps and investing them in tanks

And then there’s Bush, we wish there wasn’t
Everything he does he claims he doesn’t
He’s so Trilateral, so C.I.A.
I know what we could do with him but I’m not gonna say

And last of all, and maybe least
There’s Ronald Reagan, the friendly beast
It’s all been told so many times
About his movies, about his crimes
He’s still a cowboy, he’s still a liar
But his wild, wild west is catchin fire

Not that it makes much difference
They could all be Democrats
They’re all the same Neanderthals
Wearing different hats
It may be nukes or nerve gas but on this they all agree
War is good investment, the targets come for free
But for saving their empire, the price is getting higher
To pacify the peasants is more trouble than it’s worth
So let’s sacrifice them all
So long, it’s been a ball
No more Earth!

TRULY NEEDY

There’s something rather charming
About Harlem and Detroit
Besides, without the ghettoes
Who would we exploit?
But these are not the truly needy
In truth they are the truly greedy
They get sick for free on Medicaid
They wouldn’ta got sick if they just woulda prayed!

The truly needy in El Salvador
Are the ones who keep the Communists
Away from our back door
That fine upstanding junta
And their land reform are soonta
Be a wreck, so write a check
Who needs peasants anyway?

Chorus:
Let us do it, let us do it, let us do it
Let us cut the budget, who are you to judge it
You don’t look white to me
Let me be quite frank, we need to buy a tank
To make sure things go right, you see

The truly needy are the ones
Who buy the submarines and guns
They do it to protect us
Isn’t that why you elect us?
Military spending is the height of patriotism
So give up social security for security
From socialism
Chorus

TURNED TO GLASS

I been workin here for 16 years
And I still ain’t got the point
I watch the new recruits come in
They’ll rue the day
They set foot in this joint
I knew it was bad, I had a early warnin
When the hardest thing I did all day
Was get up in the mornin

Chorus:
The concrete jungle is turned to glass
And the Board of Directors can kiss my ass

I know every cranny, I know every nook
When another human being walks by
I don’t even look
I drink so much coffee, I’m about to burst
When I get home at night, I feel like liverwurst
They blame the secretary when anything goes wrong
If it gets much worse, I’ll have to write a song
Chorus

I’m gonna get a new job workin with a computer
Got a interview tomorrow
With a small-time corporate looter
Some countries got cattle and some got paperwork
How can I do this job
And not feel like a jerk?
Chorus

FREEDOM’S JUST ANOTHER WORD FOR WORKIN ON YOUR TAN

The right to assemble, petition and speak
Is strongly supported by Time and Newsweek
But by leaving out the most important
things you need to know
They can elevate awareness to a new all-time low

There are those who will not let the churches
tell them what to think
But when the television does the same
They don’t even blink
So it’s goo-goo, gah-gah drugs are everywhere
Mommy, mommy, protect me from the commie

100,000 demonstrators cannot be denied
But if it’s just left out, can you say the paper lied?
A lot of things that happened
Didn’t happen after all
If there’s no one in the forest who will put it in the news
I guess the tree didn’t fall

What to call a friend, there’s a simple test
Proxies for the Soviets, allies for the West
And if you’ve ever wondered what the West meant
Very simply, any place we have investment

Socialist republics are always so-called
In fact, they’re not really there
Liberation movements are self-styled
Unless we’re the ones doing their hair

So it’s goo-goo, gah-gah, we all have our own thoughts
We’re all individuals calling our own shots
Our system of free enterprise is carefully designed
To protect my right to own a TV station and your mind

BATTLE HIM IN PUBLIC

I would like to share some thoughts
Upon a cruel and savage band
Our nation’s upper echelon
Has gotten out of hand
They’re importers and extorters
And they really are barbaric
And it seems that their headquarters
Is in darkest North America

Be they Democrat or Tory
It is all the same old story
They will stand up for Old Glory
Oh so gory and so grand
They have perfect tunnel vision
Their history’s revision
And they’re experts at division
If it’s someone else’s land

If they spot a sole insurgent
They will haul out their detergent
And applaud every emergent
Tendency within the ranks
Of the army and the air force
To resort to every recourse
To guard every rightful resource
Of the law-abiding banks

I suppose you’re wonderin how long
We must go on with this sad song
I will end before I rhyme wrong
And that will be very soon
I’m all through with my cajolin
Bout the creeps who are controllin
Though the lyrics may be stolen
I didn’t steal the tune!

SUBMARINE CORPS HYMN

(Battle Hymn of the Republic:)
Stories that we’re givin to ya
Are stories that should go right through ya
The story’s only there to woo ya
The truth we spit upon

(Original:)
Oh we lie about OSHA, we lie about unemployment
While slightly distorting the cost of rapid deployment
There’s magic in our fiscal planning
It’s all done with flick of wrist
We bluster rhetorically, predict success euphorically
We lie about your job
But we tell the truth about the Communists!

(Popeye the Sailor Man:)
The guerrillas are killing the peasants
The guerrillas are killing the peasants
So call in the army, they’ll save all the kids
And I bet they will give them some presents

(Mack the Knife:)
U.S. interests in the region
Means send the legion to help a bit
Full democracy, that’s no luxury
It comes right after our profit

(Marine Corps Hymn:)
If it’s Cuba they invaded
If it’s us we came to help

(Mack the Knife:)
What shall we do with the godless Commies
What shall we do with the godless Commies
What shall we do with the godless Commies

(Army recruiting song:)
Kill all that you can kill!

(Take Me Out to the Ball Game:)
Take me out to the war game
Take me out and be proud
Buy me a popgun and maybe a WAC
Don’t be surprised if we never come back
And it’s root, root, root for the home team
I’m betting on win place or maim
And it’s one first strike and you’re out
In the new war game

(Home on the Range:)
Oh give me a gun where the terrorists run
The government, just as we say
Where seldom is heard a disparaging word
And the lies are spoke loudly all day

(Marine Corps Hymn:)
From Peoria to Pretoria we’ll defend the master race
We will fight our dirty little wars even out in outer space
First to fight for right, then farther right
Keeping U.S. interests safe
We are proud to claim the title of United Bomb and Strafe

(My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean:)
The Pershing flies over the ocean
The Trident sails under the sea
Cruise Missiles fly over the Urals
To make the world safer
For me

God bless free enterprise, system divine
Stand beside her and guide her
Just as long as the profits are mine

(Union Maid)
Oh you can’t scare me I’m stickin to the empire
I’m stickin to the empire, I’m stickin to the empire
Oh you can’t scare me, I’m stickin to the empire
The Hollywood Empire, til the day it dies

PATCH MY POCKETS

I work my butt off, no end in sight
Then they cut off my heat and light
Too many worries, don’t know what to do
Just patch my pockets, throw more water on the stew
Can’t pay the bills, can’t pay the rent
To tell the truth, I ain’t got a cent
Too many worries, don’t know what to do
Just patch my pockets, throw more water on the stew

I’m all used up, I’m all run down
I’m all burned out from runnin, runnin round

Who’s the keeper in this zoo?
Feel like I’m caged, what about you?
Who’s the captain on this ship?
Take a look at my ticket
Think I’m on the wrong trip!

I’m all used up, I’m all run down
I’m all burned out from runnin, runnin round

It’s not enough they got to trap us in a tenement
Gotta send gunships and carve up a continent

Cold and despair in New York City
Champagne glasses clink and voices say “how pretty!”
They cram us into subways that feel like submarines
While they ride around the town in their luxury limousines

I’m all used up, I’m all run down
I’m all burned out from runnin, runnin round

DO WE KNOW?

The world is changing, but mainly its machines
Technology movin faster than human beings
We must go forward, learn to live in peace and love
But that’s impossible when war and hate
Are dictated from above

And we have surely reached the point
Where the world must cooperate
Loving different kinds of people
Cause there is no room for hate
We have the capability
To feed clothe house and educate
Why do we waste our wealth on weapons
Must we learn when it’s too late?

Chorus:
Do we know, do we care?
Are we sleeping or aware?
Can we listen, can we hear?
Are we confused, or is it clear?

For centuries, overlords have redivided land
Bringing ruin to all races as they ruthlessly expand
Causing violent competition
These conditions to withstand
People living in unhappiness
Dreams turning into sand

But all along we try to make life a better thing
There are reasons that we live
That’s why we say “let freedom ring”
To learn to live together better
Many changes we must bring
But there is so much that a peasant
Cannot do when there’s a king
Chorus

In the magazines we read
That we will always kill our neighbor
Do we give up tryin to make a world
That’s better for our babe
Or do we see the same ones
Who own these magazines own our labor
And the finger on the button
Was the hand upon the saber
Chorus

All lyrics copyright © 1987 Dave Lippman