Song Category: I Hate Wal-Mart

I’ve always hated Blockbuster
Starbucks, not quite so much
If I’m not boycotting at least 3 oil companies
I start to feel out of touch
I wouldn’t be seen near Nordstrom’s or any such
And I hate Wal-Mart

I don’t like whips, I don’t like chains
I don’t go choppin up my neighbors’ brains
Don’t really even like shopping
except at the Flea Mart
And I hate Wal-Mart

Now you may wonder, why all this fuss
If you don’t like the plane, take the bus
Well I’ve found religion, and just between us
I hate Wal-Mart

If you didn’t hear the story, here’s how it is
Big company sells below cost
Drive mom and pop out of biz
Pretty soon all over the land
One big square store, identical brand
And that’s why I hate Wal-Mart

Used to be you could drive around
Stop in at three or four towns
Encounter different sights and sounds
Different if not unique
Different accent, different smell
Different things to buy and sell
Now it’s all Taco Bell
I hate Wal-Mart

Roads used to dip and wind
You drive slow, relax your mind
Never knew what you’d find
Round the next bend
Now the freeway goes so straight
It’d go right past the Pearly Gate
I don’t feel human, I feel like freight
I hate Wal-Mart

I like to roam, I like to greet
Individuals on the street
You always know the one you meet is
One of a kind
But more and more they seem to be
Reflections of something on TV
When we’re all alike, nobody’s free
I hate Wal-Mart

I boycott Burger King
I boycott Newt Gingrich
I boycott everything which
I’ve seen advertised

I used to go out to dinner in a diner
Now they say fast food is finer
But it tastes like fell out of an airliner
It’s enough to make you weep

I don’t like board games
I don’t like brand names
They make inflated claims
They’re full of bleep
Everyone I meet is a high-tech dealer
Wants to sell me a digital potato peeler
And I don’t like Garrison Keillor cause
He’s so white

Turn on my radio dial
Like to hear something new once in a while
But it’s the same old crap in a brand new style
It’s audio rape
Still I try to pick and choose
Turn the dial but I always lose
They only play the worst rock and roll
And once in a while one little rhythm and blues
And that’s why God made tape

Used to be we wore beads and bells
Sewed our own clothes in our own way
Now we all wear uniforms that say
Hard Rock Cafe
We’re in a state of sartorial decay
That’s why I hate Wal-Mart

If there’s a pretty spot they’ll pave it over
Put a cloverleaf over a four-leaf clover
Black paint on the White Cliffs of Dover
It never fails
Hope you like this song, thanks a bunch
I could go on, but I gotta go eat lunch
If you didn’t like it, I’ve got a hunch
You work in sales

So grow your own, make your own
Be careful what you own
Develop non-shopping to an art
And whatever you do
Don’t shop at Wal-Mart

Come gather round people wherever you advertise
And admit that the sixties sells Chryslers and fries
And accept it that money don’t talk, it just lies
If your bottom line is worth savin
Then you better start skimmin all the anthems we’ve known
For the stocks, they are exchangin

There’s somethin happenin here
What it is, is an ad for a beer

I guess you’d say
What can make me feel this way
My beer, talkin bout my beer

Songs that sell soap and sell cars and sell lifestyles
Anthems of freedom now corporate sieg heils
Songs that bring back all those sweet memories
Thanks, Mitsubishi, and who needs trees?
When I’m downsized, lost my health care
When I’m feelin sad
I simply remember my favorite songs
And then I don’t feel so

Bad about ads and my culture they’re taking
Bad about products that didn’t need making
Bad that they’re buying the soul of my youth
To sell me their shit, well it’s slightly uncouth
When I’m lonesome, or nostalgic
Feel I’m gonna cry
I simply remember my favorite songs
And then I break down and buy!

I’m goin up the country, where a man can be free
I’m goin up the country, where a man can be free
I’m goin to some place where there’s no god damn Pepsi!

Where do all the presidents go
At least the ones from the G.O.P.?
Where do they meet to eat in secret
Where can they really feel free
Where was the A-bomb cooked up
Where’s this he-man treasure trove?
My favorite men’s club, Bohemian Grove

Oh we’ve had Rockefeller, Kissinger, Nixon & Ford
Weinberger, Shultz, Reagan & Bush
God forbid the World Court should come
With arrest warrants for all of their respective tushes
Nobody knows the trouble I’ve caused
So pardon me while I pardon myself

They say we prey on the planet, we just sap it all
They say we don’t pay, just go in and grab it all
They say we don’t serve the public interest
Hey, if you wanta have interest, you gotta have capital

Oh we’ve got General Motors, Philip Morris,
Dow and Dow Jones
Profit and Gamble, you lose
No middle class workers
Here, flip some burgers!
While we give all you greens the blues
High level greed’s on a need to know basis
So if you don’t mind I’ll kind of take the fifth
I’d love to tell ya, but freedom isn’t free
And besides there’s always national security

I’m a straight white middle class male
I don’t see how I can fail
So why won’t the governor return my calls
Must be because
I’m not tall

I’m a straight white middle class male
The type that’s bound to prevail
So how come I didn’t get the job?
Must be because I don’t do Windows
95

I’m a straight white middle class male
They say everything’s for sale
So why am I not in the top ten?
Must be because I’ve only got six inch
Nails

I’m a straight white middle class male
I’ll never need no bail
So why are they jackin’ me around
Must be because
They’re done with all the others