Electoral Dysfunction

(O Say) Oh say can you spot
Why I might be distraught
An election so bought
Democratic? You’re dreaming
(Taps) Day is done, Vote for one
Of the parties of Wall Street, what fun!

It’s the guy nobody likes versus the guy who likes drone strikes
Oh how I hate to get up and go voting
Oh how I’d love to remain in bed

Now it’s true one has a wife who drives a couple of Cadillacs
While the spouse of the other wants to prevent our heart attacks

Now it’s true that social change comes from the bottom not the top
Once the money’s hurled, the flag unfurled, we may as well go shop
Two-party dance? Not a chance
One will rob you with a smile the other with a fountain pen it
never stops, speaking of flops can we abolish the Senate?

And whoever lives in the White House
Is mainly cause for me to grouse
In general to emigrate I’m willin’
Although I was glad when he gave the national medal to Dylan

I’m sure my niece could make peace in the middle east
And none of these bozos will
Some are spineless and witless
The rest scare me shitless
I’ve had my fill – my Uncle Bill said hey
Don’t throw your vote away
OK I’ll keep it here on the window sill

Mic check, I’m such a wreck
Sick and tired of it turning out just the way I sensed it would
There’s nobody to vote for, but plenty to vote against, I could be
Convinced we been Port-au-Prince’d

There is a system called preferential voting
Where you rank the candidates in order of your doting
And when your favorite loses you may get the second one you’ve chosen
But for me, it’s the reverse
I rank ‘em by degree that I’m opposin’ them

(As you can tell by now, there’s no practical advice here, just really well-researched bitching.)

Truth be told, I don’t like ‘em cause they’re corporate
I’ll be bold: I don’t like ‘em cause they’re tall
If you must know, I don’t like politicians
What’s the word I’m lookin’ for, oh yeah: at all!

OMG this whole thing is so disgusting
Are these the guys our kids are meant to be trusting?
Please believe me, I never meant to set it up this way son
It’s been like this since way before Ronnie Ray-gun

(folksong army)
Remember the campaign of Eugene Debs
That’s the kind where we all could be found
They may have won the election
But we had the moral high ground

It’s a question with no answer
Body politic has cancer
When the doctor says we’ll try two-party chemo
What am I supposed to say, “Oh primo!”?

But as the NDDA has made clear
If I were President, I could make you all disappear

(My Way)
You know this system stinks, it’s past its sell-by date
Even so methinks I should decide which one to mainly hate
Shall I hold my nose and vote or trade with Fred in North Dakota
Or write in Bernie Sanders then say that’s all she wrote-a
(& Jill Stein)

(It Don’t Mean a Thing)
It don’t mean a thing if you ain’t got them swing states like Florida
That’s where we decide which candidate to hide from
Cause he’s the one that’s horrider
There’s oh so much at stake, but I’m a vegetarian
If these two are my suitors, I’m not marryin’

(I’m getting’ married in the morning)
I’ve got electoral dysfunction
Ding dongs, how can I vote for them
Look at these choices
We’ve lost our voices
Got the constitution wrong that time

Any time our future is decided
By a guy who bought that many ads
Please give me your attention
I’ll bet you my pension
We – are – screwed.

Between the one who sold us out
And the one who’s more devout
I’ll take – a – Quaalude.

(Morning is Broken)
System is broken, vote of no confidence
Money has spoken, it’s people too

They get votes with the money
Super PAC’s their Easter bunny
Do it all for the money
Guess that’s why they’re so far right

(Battle Hymn)
Both get money from insurance, banks, law firms and agribiz
HMOs hedgefunds, securities, that’s really who they is
I’ve got sticker shock, I think I won’t be buying
Their mouths are moving, they’re lying

(If In Only Had A Heart)
When Obama gave the telecoms
Immunity for bugging moms
He really crossed a bridge
Mr. Bain would let them bug your mattress,
toaster, wallet, coffee cup, kitchen sink and fridge
You know, Big O said he’d get out of Gitmo
But Mitt would put his Mitts on every – oh wait Barry did that already, SO

If you like a world where torturers go free – gee thanks
Where Raytheon runs the Pentagon and Summers bails the banks
Where Mad Money Men win Tonys for their plays
They’re so acquisitive
Financiers have no new idears, they’re highly derivative
You don’t even have to choose
In this election, you can’t lose!
I would surely rather that I wasn’t in this position
But two words before you hand it off to Voldemort
Su – preme – court