Listen&Watch

Arise ye prisoners of linkedin
Arise ye bloggers of the earth
For tweeting thunders thru the nation
a better web’s in birth
No more the printed page shall bind us
Arise ye slaves of the telephone call
The net shall rise on new foundations
My mug shot on my facebook wall

Tis the viral conflict
Let each stand on YouTube
The international blogging class
Shall replace the boob tube

Tis the viral conflict
Let us rise from MySpace
The international twittersphere
Shall be the human race

(O Say) Oh say can you spot
Why I might be distraught
An election so bought
Democratic? You’re dreaming
(Taps) Day is done, Vote for one
Of the parties of Wall Street, what fun!

It’s the guy nobody likes versus the guy who likes drone strikes
Oh how I hate to get up and go voting
Oh how I’d love to remain in bed

Now it’s true one has a wife who drives a couple of Cadillacs
While the spouse of the other wants to prevent our heart attacks

Now it’s true that social change comes from the bottom not the top
Once the money’s hurled, the flag unfurled, we may as well go shop
Two-party dance? Not a chance
One will rob you with a smile the other with a fountain pen it
never stops, speaking of flops can we abolish the Senate?

And whoever lives in the White House
Is mainly cause for me to grouse
In general to emigrate I’m willin’
Although I was glad when he gave the national medal to Dylan

I’m sure my niece could make peace in the middle east
And none of these bozos will
Some are spineless and witless
The rest scare me shitless
I’ve had my fill – my Uncle Bill said hey
Don’t throw your vote away
OK I’ll keep it here on the window sill

Mic check, I’m such a wreck
Sick and tired of it turning out just the way I sensed it would
There’s nobody to vote for, but plenty to vote against, I could be
Convinced we been Port-au-Prince’d

There is a system called preferential voting
Where you rank the candidates in order of your doting
And when your favorite loses you may get the second one you’ve chosen
But for me, it’s the reverse
I rank ‘em by degree that I’m opposin’ them

(As you can tell by now, there’s no practical advice here, just really well-researched bitching.)

Truth be told, I don’t like ‘em cause they’re corporate
I’ll be bold: I don’t like ‘em cause they’re tall
If you must know, I don’t like politicians
What’s the word I’m lookin’ for, oh yeah: at all!

OMG this whole thing is so disgusting
Are these the guys our kids are meant to be trusting?
Please believe me, I never meant to set it up this way son
It’s been like this since way before Ronnie Ray-gun

(folksong army)
Remember the campaign of Eugene Debs
That’s the kind where we all could be found
They may have won the election
But we had the moral high ground

It’s a question with no answer
Body politic has cancer
When the doctor says we’ll try two-party chemo
What am I supposed to say, “Oh primo!”?

But as the NDDA has made clear
If I were President, I could make you all disappear

(My Way)
You know this system stinks, it’s past its sell-by date
Even so methinks I should decide which one to mainly hate
Shall I hold my nose and vote or trade with Fred in North Dakota
Or write in Bernie Sanders then say that’s all she wrote-a
(& Jill Stein)

(It Don’t Mean a Thing)
It don’t mean a thing if you ain’t got them swing states like Florida
That’s where we decide which candidate to hide from
Cause he’s the one that’s horrider
There’s oh so much at stake, but I’m a vegetarian
If these two are my suitors, I’m not marryin’

(I’m getting’ married in the morning)
I’ve got electoral dysfunction
Ding dongs, how can I vote for them
Look at these choices
We’ve lost our voices
Got the constitution wrong that time

Any time our future is decided
By a guy who bought that many ads
Please give me your attention
I’ll bet you my pension
We – are – screwed.

Between the one who sold us out
And the one who’s more devout
I’ll take – a – Quaalude.

(Morning is Broken)
System is broken, vote of no confidence
Money has spoken, it’s people too

They get votes with the money
Super PAC’s their Easter bunny
Do it all for the money
Guess that’s why they’re so far right

(Battle Hymn)
Both get money from insurance, banks, law firms and agribiz
HMOs hedgefunds, securities, that’s really who they is
I’ve got sticker shock, I think I won’t be buying
Their mouths are moving, they’re lying

(If In Only Had A Heart)
When Obama gave the telecoms
Immunity for bugging moms
He really crossed a bridge
Mr. Bain would let them bug your mattress,
toaster, wallet, coffee cup, kitchen sink and fridge
You know, Big O said he’d get out of Gitmo
But Mitt would put his Mitts on every – oh wait Barry did that already, SO

If you like a world where torturers go free – gee thanks
Where Raytheon runs the Pentagon and Summers bails the banks
Where Mad Money Men win Tonys for their plays
They’re so acquisitive
Financiers have no new idears, they’re highly derivative
You don’t even have to choose
In this election, you can’t lose!
I would surely rather that I wasn’t in this position
But two words before you hand it off to Voldemort
Su – preme – court

Oh baby have I got a gift for you
You can’t imagine what I’m offering to put you through
No it’s not a war with Finland
Or as expected those ingrates in Greenland
This one will be immeasurably more fun
A war with pretty much almost everyone
 
Well I may not find a budget for your schools
But I can well afford to manufacture guns for you precious fools
We’ve got no funds for fridges, much less bridges
nor innoculations
But there’s a fire sale on bombing non-us nations

You know if God had wanted there to be other countries….
 
As I was saying, we’re not slaying just to prove we’re the greatest
Which we are of course, I’ve no remorse in praying for America
only
It’s so lonely at the top
Some day there’ll be a braver crop of suckers
But for now you’re the luckiest pluckers
You get to be my heavily armed  runnin-amokers
Good luck, and good night, all right!
C’mon alla you real men straight, or gay
Even the ladies can join the fray
Too many is not enough in my thrillers
How about a brigade of powder puff killers
 
Still we might run out of troops so there’s a plan for breeding
We’ll convert your amorosity to navy seal seeding
We’re gonna cut contraception – tiny holes of course
Convert your Trojans to a trojan horse
 
While you’re forced into foreclosure and dying of exposure
Unemployed and your savings expired
You can take consolation in the saving of the nation
By the weaponization of national pride
 
Don’t fret don’t worry
And for sure don’t think
On the double in a hurry
Here we go into the drink
Only question is, which drink? Lemme think,
Let’s see:
We won’t be rushin in to Russia
Though we’ll take it to the brink you know
But a war with Red China would solve our red ink flow
 
Though it’s true I never made a
Greater glory than Grenada
Take heart,  roll up your sleeves
With our shoulders to the tar sands
We can still sink the Maldives
 
In a pinch we could always attack the Swiss
With all those skiers how could even a dumb drone miss
They say they’re neutral but they speak 3 enemy tongues
So I’m gonna shout it out at the top of your lungs:
 
It’s not the titanic, it’s the Lusitania
No need to panic, just bomb Albania
My megalomania will steer us right
As long as you’ll vote for candidate that brings the most fright
 
You know if God had wanted there to be other countries….
There’s France, let’s take a chance, or we could bomb the Sudanistas
We’ll get into a war in starts and fits
I’ll stir your hearts if not your wits

We’ll go wittily into Italy
After all they’re a fairly failed state
I know it’s second rate, and it’s been done, lord knows, mama mia
But it’s our only chance to prevent a Mediterranean North Korea